Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Because I’m an idiot.
Officer: [grinning] Well.
Me: I rolled a stop. Stupid. [awkwardly] I am… stupid.
Me: I’m sorry. That was….I’m sorry.
Officer: [giving me that odd look like maybe noone has apologized for driving like a moron] Where are you going?
Me: To work. Shit…yeah…I’m late for work.
Officer: Do you know what happens when you roll a stop in front of a cop?
Me: Uh …you get…. pulled over?
Me: [Having a highschool SAT flashback] You go broke and have to live in a van?
Officer: [laughs] Yeah.
Me: [daydreams of what it would be like to be best friends with a cop]
Me: [to hawaii maybe….amiright?…No that’s stupid] No?….Sir?
Officer: Go to work. And what have we learned?
Me: Don’t roll stops?
Officer: Don’t roll stops….in front of an officer.
Me: Yes sir. Thank you.
Officer: Put your seatbelt on.